Hi, I'm Crazy, and you are....?

For the past week I feel like I've been suffering from a mild case of insanity. The extreme heat compounded with the fact that I'm once again a "single parent" of a toddler has been quite a challenge for me lately. Jamie got home from Michigan in the middle of June and after a few busy, passing-too-quickly weeks, he left again to rotate at a different hospital in Detroit and then Chicago. Life without him around just isn't quite right. Sigh, I miss him.

So back to my craziness.... Here are a few snippets from life lately. This post is a self-indulgent pity fest, so feel free to stop reading now if you want to maintain your rosy outlook on life. Have I mentioned it's hot outside? It's been in the upper 90s/low 100s every day for a while now. This means that Marlee and I have been cooped up inside for much too long as it's too hot to let her play outside for more than a few minutes. We still go on little daily outings, which are great distractions, but when we get home, Marlee turns the whine factor on high. The only things that stop the whining are a continual source of snacks, or constantly holding her, letting her bounce on me, etc... Those things aren't necessarily bad, but I'm anti-childhood obesity, my arms quickly grow tired, and my bladder can't handle the stress of continual bounces (due to previously birthing a child and all). I try songs, dancing, toys, and games, but their effects are fleeting; so needless to say, Marlee spends a great deal of her day whining and tugging on my pants (I have the snot marks all over my legs to prove it). Does this make me a bad mother!?

I consider myself a fairly patient person, so normally, I can handle whining. However, when I'm tired I turn into Mr. Hyde (Jamie can verify this fact). For some reason, Marlee has been waking up screaming multiple times during the night since we moved apartments 2 weeks ago. Most nights it's 2-3 times, but a couple nights ago it was SIX times! I don't know if it's night terrors, teething, or what!? The one thing I do know is I'm oh-so-tired during the day, and therefore a little less enduring. Also, due to my own error and failure to turn in my availability on time, I haven't worked at all this week. I generally look forward to working a few hours each week and the needed break it provides, so I'm definitely feeling its absence.

Now please don't get me wrong. I love being a mother, and I love, love, love my Marlee. In fact, I just went to go check on my sleeping beauty, and as I watched her rest, I actually missed her and wanted to pick her up so I could cuddle her sleepy body. It's just that sometimes parenthood is HARD. It's not always peonies and butterflies. A lot of times it's full of slobber, boggies, messes, clashing wills, and days that just never seem to end. However, I know that one day I'll miss my whiny toddler with her runny nose, jack-o-lantern smile, perfect little Buddha belly, and slobbery kisses. And if history continues to repeat itself, those days of "missing" will be here sooner than I think.

That belly was MADE for raspberries!